Monthly Archives: January 2013

Holding it together – kind of

Posted on January 30, 2013 by fickelchook

Well, I’ve been away for a week so I guess I need to do better at updating more. This past week has been somewhat of a roller coaster. I had a few days where mentally I felt good, physically I … Continue reading →

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Knocking on wood

Posted on January 22, 2013 by fickelchook

I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think I’m experiencing some improvement. The breathing and meditation are helping, I only threw up maybe half a dozen times yesterday. Today I woke up and I felt better. Not a … Continue reading →

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Taking control (or at least trying to)

Posted on January 21, 2013 by fickelchook

Yesterday I decided that one of the things I love to do is go jog so screw it, I was going to try. Since I’ve been doing nothing since getting diagnosed, this really translates into a walk with a few … Continue reading →

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Almost made it

Posted on January 20, 2013 by fickelchook

Well, I almost made it through without puking yesterday. Fletcher had a birthday party in the afternoon which I wanted to go to. We dropped Evelyn off with my folks and Eric and I both went to the party so … Continue reading →

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Hard week in a dark mind

Posted on January 19, 2013 by fickelchook

It’s been a while, and as most of you can imagine that’s not a good thing. I’ve had many people contact me so it’s nice to know that some of you out there are still reading. This past week has … Continue reading →

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Turns out I totally lied.

Posted on January 11, 2013 by fickelchook

Well, I didn’t mean to lie, but what I thought was going to be the new plan turned out to be totally not.  Apparently the radiation oncologist jumped the gun and thought I wasn’t willing to do more chemo.  I’m … Continue reading →

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Another new plan and public breakdowns. The glamour of cancer.

Posted on January 8, 2013 by fickelchook

My mental state continues to suck.  I know that I can’t quit which makes me feel like I have no options.  If my cancer came back and I knew that I did not do everything possible, how could I live … Continue reading →

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Faking it

Posted on January 7, 2013 by fickelchook

Well, here I am again.  Not sleeping.  I’m not sure if this is a good thing or bad or just indifferent at this point.  I don’t really feel like I’m making progress.  I’m taking Ativan every day to keep the … Continue reading →

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Uncharted Territory

Posted on January 1, 2013 by fickelchook

So I’ve finally gotten to uncharted territory. I don’t want to talk. Me. I’ve been going a mile a minute since I was born and I just don’t have it in me anymore. My mental game is WAY off. I … Continue reading →

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