Yesterday I decided that one of the things I love to do is go jog so screw it, I was going to try. Since I’ve been doing nothing since getting diagnosed, this really translates into a walk with a few one minute jog stints. It felt good to put my exercise clothes on. My foobs (fake boobs) actually looked decent in a sports bra. I went out and enjoyed the sun, the breeze, and being alone out there. It was nice. I did throw up about 5 times along the way, but I still felt good. I felt free. The expanders are not comfortable to jog with and I think I’ll need to stick to walking in the future, but it was something that made me feel like me again which was awesome. I came home and took a shower, throwing up several more times in there. Clearly things aren’t balancing, but at least I’m getting some positives.
I felt great after the exercise for about 20 minutes and then a headache set in and I had to lay down. I did make myself some basmati rice and black beans which is one of the first things I’ve eaten this week. Then I took a nap before a family trip to Costco. I got all my juicing stuff and lots of berries and good things to eat. Eric and the kids ate at Costco after shopping – Evelyn dipping her huge hot dog in ketchup was hilarious. I got through the rest of the day throwing up here and there – I’ve gotten rather stealthy and can just lean over and puke between cars in the parking lot. It’s a super great skill to have, let me tell you. By the end of the day I had lost count but it was a pretty high number. The good side is that these are not “everybody out of the pool” kind of puking so I think most things are managing to stay down. I also ate some ramen noodles before bed and have been making tea so I’m getting lots of hydration.
I started having phone calls with my mother in law last night. She is awesome and does life coaching. She’s working me through a program for people with issues like I’m having and I’m hoping it will help. She’s got me doing some breathing techniques to work on distracting my brain from all-that-makes-me-puke along with some meditation. So far I think it’s helping.
This morning I had a bowl of strawberries, blueberries and grapes which for me is huge progress. Also, everything has stayed down (knock on wood). I have to get my life back.