Life and new problems

Well, this past week has been nice in that I’m not running back and forth to the hospital once or twice a day, but I did have four appointments so it wasn’t quite like a normal person’s schedule.

Monday I had my first post-radiation fill on my right side (remember that one had to be taken down to get the proper angle for radiation). The fill went fine. My plastic surgeon didn’t look too happy at the state of my left chest tissue, but we are pretty confident things will be better in a few months. I go back again this Monday for the last fill. The pain this time was definitely better than when I was originally filled and it didn’t feel like I got hit in the ribs with a baseball bat so that’s always a plus. I was quite sore, Wednesday was the worst day, but now it is pretty good. I’m ready for Monday.

Wednesday I went in for my last lymphedema therapy appointment. They generally see people through treatment and the week after. The hardest part of ending therapies is knowing I won’t see the people as often but I know I will keep in touch so I’m trying not to let it bother me too much. One of my therapists is interested in working with us on HOPE4YAWC so that’s exciting.

Thursday I met with my oncologist for my 8 week post treatment visit. Everything was good. I told her about the pain I’ve been having in my right knee and she had an idea that it might be a baker’s cyst. Her exam supported that and they scheduled an ultrasound for Friday morning. Everything else was good and I made an appointment to see her again in three months. That seems insane.

Friday morning (yesterday) I went in for the ultrasound at 7:30am. I had not been worried about it, but I was amazed how laying on the table hearing her take pictures made me feel. Much too similar to being diagnosed the first time. Cancer plays such crazy mind games. This was really my first taste of the everything-is-cancer syndrome. The tech wouldn’t tell me anything which is her job, but it didn’t help my internal struggle with knowing everything was fine and the irrational what if it’s cancer thoughts. I couldn’t even see the monitor so there was no way to know what she was taking pictures of. But I could tell that she went right to the problem area immediately and took a bunch of images so I figured she must have found something. Or maybe she was just taking pictures to show that there wasn’t anything. See? Mind games. Sigh. Plus, they told me that the films usually get read in about 24 hours and then I’d hear from the physician who ordered the test. Does that mean I have to wait until Monday???? I called the nurse at my oncologist’s office and left my nurse a voice mail. I told her that I totally understand that this is not a high priority item, but if she hears anything I would appreciate a phone call just so I’m not having cancer thoughts all weekend. My wonderful nurse called at lunch time and told me that while she couldn’t give me details or tell me what they are recommending, she did get the results and it looks like a cyst. So while that’s not great, no cancer is fabulous. No one else called so I’m assuming I will hear more on Monday about what they want to do about it. It’s kind of nice to have normal people problems for a change.

In other news, Eric is still job hunting. He’s had some good interviews and one offer dependent on a final interview this week (isn’t that weird?) We are hoping for a couple offers this week so we’ll see what happens. Fingers crossed everyone.

Our current insurance ends Monday so we’re in the process of switching everyone over to new policies. It’s always fun. We did find a great insurance broker and were amazed at the coverage we could get that was affordable. If you need a referral for that, just message me and I’ll send you his info.

Fletcher also had a bad reaction to some medication this week which made him absolutely insane. I spent about four days trying to keep it together before we figured out it was medication. At least we know what it is, but having Fletcher running around with about 10 times his normal energy level (which is already high) and zero impulse control was not fun. None of his therapists knew what to do. I’m glad that’s over.

In my spare time, I’m working on plans for Hope for Young Adults With Cancer, finding events we can become part of and working on ways to get our name out there. I’ve also been trying to work on our Disney vacation planning. This is a bit of a dream trip right now as I have no idea how we’re going to pay our mortgage let alone go on vacation, but we were forced to cancel last year’s trip since I was in treatment. Then we were going to take a trip when I finished treatment but obviously there are no vacations right now so hopefully by December we’ll be able to make it happen. It feels good to dream and hope for something anyway. When my days were the darkest, thinking about Disney was really a big part of what helped me through it. Strangely, when I thought about my happiest place it was the parking lot at EPCOT. Hearing the hum of the monorail overhead and looking at the park where I knew everyone was so happy. I would really like to get there again.

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One Response to Life and new problems

  1. Dee says:

    Dear Jenn
    Thank you so much for your blog. My sister in law was diagnosed with BC a month ago, and just survived her first round of chemo with the red devil. Your writing has given me, and our family, great insight and wisdom into the “roller coaster”. We didn’t sign up for this ride, but she is not getting on it alone, so we are all on board. And I have shared your story with my friends–reminding them that that we need to do self exams standing up and laying down. You have made a difference, and you are a survivor. Thank you! God bless you! With love from Texas.

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