So here we are on AC day two. So far it hasn’t been good. I have a lot of nausea that comes and goes but luckily haven’t been throwing up yet. I am exhausted and my head feels off. Not quite a headache, but a heaviness, kind of darkness for lack of a better term.
I went in this morning for the white blood cell booster shot. It is a subcutaneous shot but the meds sting like crazy. It felt like a thorn going in under my skin. She did the shot very slowly to try to help it dissipate a little but man it hurt. Even afterwards, we tried to massage it some and it just felt like grinding a thorn in further. It only lasted a few minutes – maybe 5 and then it was done though so at least that was something. She said the bone pain could start soon, within 24 hours for sure.
I knew from pretty early this morning that today was definitely a nap day. Eric had to work so a good friend took the kiddos for the afternoon and I slept for over three hours. When I woke up in kind of an exhausted fog, my pelvis hurt so bad I thought I was in labor for a minute. Then I realized where I was and why my pelvis was hurting and at least rolled off my side to give it some rest. I’m pretty sure the pain woke me up since I am not generally that out of it upon waking naturally. The pain hasn’t been as bad since waking up, but I’m definitely aware of some bones. I’m glad I have a massage scheduled later this week.
The steroid didn’t keep me up at all last night. That dose with the Taxol would have had me up until 4am easy. I’m guessing the side effects from these drugs are just so much more than the Taxol that they overpower the steroid. That is a pleasant thought. Tomorrow is day 3 so it should kick in for real then. They said days 3, 4 and 5 are the worst. We’ll see how it goes.
My plan is to attend the fundraiser tomorrow – I’ve been working today as I can to get ready for it and I hope it will be good. I found out today that a Dove Chocolate rep will be there as well and she is donating 15% for the fundraiser. Chocolate and cheesecake can’t be bad 🙂
I am anxious to get the PET scan the more I think about things. I really don’t feel like I know what I’m dealing with at this point which is about the worst thing for me. I think I was doing really well when I was confident that I wasn’t going to die from this. At this point, I don’t have that confidence. I’m not all the way back at square one, but I just want some verification that I am okay. It is so crazy how fast the rug can just get completely pulled out from under you. I thought I was freaked out before, but at this point I don’t give a flip if I have scars all over my body that never go away. Just get it out and let me live. I will deal with whatever cosmetic crap I have to. That isn’t the important thing. It’s funny to be in this place when I read about some people with breast cancer who have a lumpectomy and don’t have to have chemo or anything. I can see why it gets the reputation of being the nice, sweet, fuzzy, easy cancer. What I wouldn’t give to have that kind. But those aren’t the cards I was dealt and you’ve got to play your hand, right? So, I will wait for Monday and call to check on the scan. And hopefully I’ll be able to maintain some amount of grace through the next few days. I haven’t gotten out of my pajamas for the past two days, although I did put on clean ones for the foot soak last night, but still pajamas. I feel like crap. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get crazy and put on some jeans for the fundraiser. But don’t hold your breath. 🙂