To start with, let me just say that this weekend was fabulous. I haven’t been at my computer not because I’ve been laid up, but because I’ve actually been doing things. I feel almost “normal” and let me tell you, normal is amazing. People underestimate normal. Feel like they need to be extraordinary, unusual, outstanding. Not so. Normal gets taken for granted. But it is awesome.
Saturday, we got up and I felt good. So we decided to go to the circus right away to take advantage of it. I called the Coliseum and they said the 11:00 show was pretty open so we drove down and got there at about 10:40. Walked right up to the box office with no line, got great seats and sat down just as the show started. Evelyn loved the elephants of course (they are her favorite animal). She actually started crying when they left. Fletch loved everything. He couldn’t pick a favorite. They still have the motorcycles in the big steel ball which I remembered from when I was a kid. Eric and I both loved the dogs and cats – just house pets but they did insane tricks and I wish they had done them separately instead of 3 ring style so I could have seen everything. I totally missed the third ring because I was so focused on the dogs and cats – but I did glance down there at one point and saw a goat walking a tight rope so I’m sure they had some crazy stuff down there too. It was great.
Sunday we went to get donuts in the morning and had a kid birthday party all afternoon. The kids had a great time and I got to actually hang out a bit with one of my close friends which was awesome since I always seem to either be too busy or laid up. Fletcher and Eric went to the skate park both evenings and it was just a great weekend. I didn’t even take a nap. Although, I really wouldn’t have minded one but I really enjoyed feeling up to going out.
The only symptoms I had was fatigue which I really don’t even feel like was that bad compared to normal. My headaches went away which was lovely. My hair has been coming out more and more, but that was to be expected. The hair on my crown has really been coming out. It also feels like a more coarse texture than I’m used to.
Today was super busy yet again. I had the Look Good, Feel Better class at the hospital. We got a big bag of makeup, all different kinds but most of which has a lot of the chemicals I can’t use. At least I got to learn how to put it on – that bag has more makeup in it than I’ve owned my whole life I think. Everything from Amway (which I didn’t even know was still a company) to MAC and everything in between. It all gets donated for these programs. But the class was fun and I got another wig and a hat to bring home. I had noticed this morning when I was getting ready that I’ve lost enough hair on the top of my head that I could see the scalp in the mirror with the bright light from my bathroom. I have been wearing scarves whenever I leave the house most of this week. In the class, the volunteers also noticed that my scalp looked irritated and red there, and it is pretty warm to the touch. They said it’s normal for the skin to get really irritated when the hair is coming out and then it calms down. From what I understand, the follicles get burned from the chemicals in the chemo and it certainly feels like a burn so I’m guessing that’s what it actually is.
Anyway, I pretty much decided at that point to shave it. I’m wearing scarves anyway which are a bit more difficult with the hair since they want to slide around, and if my scalp is that irritated I would rather be able to put my healing balm on it so that hopefully it will heal faster. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and it’s odd because cutting it short had a lot more emotional involvement than this. At this point, I just feel like it would be easier all around to buzz it. So, I did. Here is what I look like with a mohawk:
And here is me buzzed:
I’m showing my left side in both pictures because I noticed right away that my right side has some of the red splotches where the skin is irritated. So, I’m giving you my good side. The top of my head definitely looks like a sunburn and has some small bald patches which is I’m sure why I could see scalp. I know that having no hair will make me colder, but right now my head is pretty warm – which I’m guessing is from the burn or whatever is going on. It feel oddly liberating to just buzz it and not deal with hair at all. Let me tell you, it doesn’t take much shampoo and I’ve never had my hair dry so quickly after a shower. I’m amazed I didn’t try it sooner. 🙂