Tomorrow is Tuesday. It came fast this week, didn’t it? Maybe it was the holiday last weekend, or maybe the weeks are just going quickly. Doesn’t seem like it’s time to sit in that chair again already. But it is. I feel like I should want to go and do whatever damage I can to the cancer, but it’s hard. This week got to me. It caught me off guard. It affected me more than I expected. I am not looking forward to tomorrow. Accessing the port is really the worst part, other than that it’s just sitting around. Then I wait for it to kick in. After this past Thursday, I am dreading the next one. At least I will be better prepared. I plan to be close to to, if not in, bed. Hopefully I can just sleep through it.
We had a little excitement this afternoon. An old lady down the street was a little out of it and drove her car through a cinderblock fence into our neighbor’s front yard. Whoops. They took her to the hospital and pulled the car out of his garden. It was crazy and sad. It could have been so much worse and we were all glad that no one was hurt. But while everyone else was watching, I couldn’t help thinking that I need to be careful as I go through this. I need to be sure that’s not me. I’m very thankful to have people to drive me around and take care of me. And I need to not push it. People say all the time that they are just going to the store, or wherever, and they can make it when they are not feeling their best. But this lady didn’t make it past two houses before she was in someone’s front yard.
This evening one of our friends brought us dinner. We hadn’t seen each other in over a year and it was so great to be able to see her and for the kids to play. The weather is nice so I can sit out on the deck in the evenings and I really like that. It’s hard to not be out in the daylight and fresh air like I am used to. I need to start having some girls nights in our back yard since I don’t know that I’ll be getting much farther than that soon. It made me realize how much time can go by without seeing people that I really enjoy spending time with. We need to make more time for ourselves and each other. I definitely need to find ways to escape.
So I guess not a lot today. I think my weeks are going by faster because I’m having fewer and fewer “good” days. Mondays are the best day. Tuesdays are treatment so I’m wiped. Wednesdays I’m tired but okay. Thursday mornings are okay and then the afternoons suck. Fridays suck. Saturdays are rough. Sundays are better. Rinse, repeat.
Quote of the week: Well, at least with all the chemo you’ll probably get really skinny!