Today was a good day. No one poked me with a needle for the second day in a row. Always a bonus. I took the kids to Jamba Juice this morning and went to the zoo with my mom this afternoon. I think there must be something going on with the tides or something because our son was completely bonkers. But in comparison with the rest of my life, pretty manageable. We rode the train, walked around and got some exercise and saw lots of animals. Here we are with the giraffes.
I look pretty calm, right? Relaxed. Like I don’t have a care in the world. How deceiving appearances can be. I did enjoy the day though, honestly.
I also received several gifts today which always makes a girl feel awesome. One you have probably noticed – a great friend not only gave my blog a facelift but also created a fundraising site for us. We have what I thought was good insurance, but I am shocked at how expensive having cancer really is. If you’d like to do something to help, that would be a great thing.
My port is itching like mad – it’s kind of like having a bad sunburn – anything that even brushes it makes it itch. So people get to see it. I only noticed a couple actually look which was good. I am very aware of it but I’m sure that’s because I feel it all the time. Hopefully that will go away soon. It is still sore – I have to hold it while going over bumps in the car. Fletch, our son, bonked me with the back of his head and made me see stars for a minute. But mostly it’s just sensitivity in an area that isn’t used to being touched regularly. The swelling has gone down enough that I can feel the bumps on it – the part where the needle goes in is a round pad with three bumps in a triangle shape. The doctor/nurse will feel the triangle of bumps and go for the middle of that with the needle. It is really odd to have something in my chest. I don’t know if I’ll get used to it but it will be there for probably 6 months so I guess the novelty will wear off eventually.
This brings me to my other discomfort – the bruises. I get to take the biopsy steri strips off tomorrow which is exciting. I wanted to document the bruises but obviously that’s tough to do considering the location. I did some super close ups so I think they’re okay. Here we go…
And the port which now has a lovely yellow surround and trailing line down my chest
All things considered, I’m really impressed that the surgery site is so clean. I don’t know what they did while I was in there, but they certainly didn’t leave a lot of blood to pool. I think I’ll feel a lot better after most of the strips come off tomorrow (the surgical ones are supposed to stay on for 10 days).
I think the port is freaking me out a bit because it’s the first “real” thing that tells me this is actually happening. The bruises heal. The steri strips come off. I can kind of fool my brain into believing that they are done. But that port is in there. And it’s for chemo. Because that is happening. That little port is just a constant little reminder that bad shit is afoot. I found myself wondering how many people that I was seeing at the zoo had a port. How many have had one in the past? I had certainly never noticed one on anyone. I thought the stupid things came through the skin rather than being all underneath. Shows what I know. I told Fletch it makes me super cool because I have a robot part now. He thinks it’s awesome. My skin is stretching, I’m not sure how long that will last but I can feel that too. It’s all just really flipping weird.
We are going to try and make this a “family fun” weekend. The last weekend before chemo starts. Seems like it should be something memorable. We’ve got to figure that part out. We’ve also got to clean all the extra crap out of the house. This place needs to be CLEAN because I will not be able to fight off normal germs while getting chemo. Got to make reminders to change the air filters and all those little things. It’s crazy what we have to think of. I’ll let you know how it goes.